Computer jokes


The files can now be found at the Programmers Heaven WEB-Site.


10ADBBUD.ZIP Ten commandments for programmers
10CMD.ZIP 10 Commandments For C Programmers
15QS1.ZIP 15 questions to ask Microsoft about Windows 95
1984.ZIP IOCCC winners for 1984-6
1991.ZIP IOCCC winners for 1991
300BPS.ZIP 101 things you can do with a 300 bauds modem!!
386CODE.ZIP Undocumented 80X86 opcodes
6661.ZIP Satanic Operating Systems
7DEADLY-.ZIP The Seven Deadly Layers of OSI
ACTUAL_C.ZIP Absolutely unchanged compiler responses
AIRPLANE.ZIP Airplanes as operating systems (humor)
ALICEIND.ZIP Alice in DIGITALand
ALICES_N.ZIP Alice's NNTP Server
ALICES_P.ZIP Alice's PDP-10
ALICES_R.ZIP MIT's AI lab
ALTERNAT.ZIP Alternatives to OSI
AMIGAUSE.ZIP 100 ways to use a AMIGA (FUN)
AMIREP.ZIP Hur man reparerar en Amiga :-)
APPLE.ZIP New technology announcement from Apple
APPLEII.ZIP My Apple II test
APPLEMAF.ZIP The story of the Apple mafia
APPLES.ZIP What's wrong with Apple computers
ARCHITEC.ZIP If architects had to work like programmers
ARE_YOU_.ZIP Are you an internet nerd?
ART_EROT.ZIP Hot new program lang. "X"! Tragic results
BABBAGE.ZIP The new computer language
BASICZEN.ZIP Basic Zen or Real men program in C
BOFB.ZIP Bastard operator from Britain
BOFB2.ZIP Bastard operator from Britain #2
BOFH.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #1
BOFH2.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #4
BOFH4.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #2
BOFH5.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #3
BOFH7.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #5
BOFH8.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #6
BOFH1.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #12
BOFH10.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #10
BOFH11.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #11
BOFH13.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #13
BOFH15.ZIP Bastard operator from hell #15
BOFH14.ZIP The Bastard Operator from Hell Rides Again.
BOFH9.ZIP The LAST Bastard Operator from HELL!
BSMFH1.ZIP Bastard system manager from hell #1
BSMFH2.ZIP Bastard system manager from hell #2
BUDORD.ZIP Modemarens 12 budord
BUNGL.ZIP Overextended opcodes
C.ZIP Ode to C
C_MINUS.ZIP New product announcement: C-- Void Oriented Programming
C64STORY.ZIP Rather brain-dead C-64 story
CANT_PAR.ZIP You can't parse this!
CARS.ZIP If on-line services and networks were cars:
CELIBACY.ZIP Celibacy, UNIX programmers manual
CHERN.ZIP USSR on Usenet
CLIENT_S.ZIP How Client/Server Computing Is Like Teen-age Sex
COFFEE.ZIP Computer, chuckle, original
COMLUST.ZIP Computer Lust
COMMUTIN.ZIP Commuting for the beginners
COMP.ZIP Computer mania, a mental disorder??
COMPDICT.ZIP Tonkin's computer dictionary
COMPLOVE.ZIP The joy of computers
COMPSEX.ZIP A computer's wet dream
COMPUTE1.ZIP Computer funnies
COMPUTE3.ZIP Computer songs and poems
COMPUTER.ZIP How god created the computer
COOPCAD.ZIP Copers laws on CAD systems
COOPLAWS.ZIP Coopers Laws on computers
CPUNS.ZIP Puns with the C Language
CPURITY.ZIP Programmers Test, Do You Have What It Takes?
CRAY7.ZIP The latest from cray
CREATORS.ZIP Creators admit unix, c hoax
CUISINE.ZIP Microsoft "Food For Windows"
CUSTOMER.ZIP Support is hell: The Torture Never Stops
DANBARRE.ZIP Collection of great computer jokes
DATAKOM.ZIP Datakommunikation ordlista
DDERN.ZIP Batch up your shellscripts
DEAD1.ZIP Dead 1, The history of the BBS user
DEAD2.ZIP Dead 2, The sequel from hell
DEAD3.ZIP Dead 3, Our heroes enters cyberspace
DEAD4.ZIP Dead 4, Dawn of the Turgid Members
DEAREMIL.ZIP Dear Emily postnews
DEC-OH.ZIP Old computer song, dec-oh!
DECWARS.ZIP DEC Wars
DISEASES.ZIP BBS related diseases
DISKDRIV.ZIP What to do with your diskdrive
DISKRIGG.ZIP The disk rigger rodent story
DLJUNKIE.ZIP Confessions of a download junkie
DO_IT_LI.ZIP Lot's of Do-it-like lines... Like "computer programmers do it bit-by-bit..." etc...
DOS_FAQ.ZIP What the comp.os.ms-dos.wizards FAQ might look like if there were a comp.os.ms-dos.wizards.
DPDEF.ZIP Data processing definitions
ELITE.ZIP How to gain access on "Elite" boards
ENSF.ZIP Yasf -- yet another software foundation!
ETHICS.ZIP Ethics for BBS users
EUNUCHS.ZIP ENUCH's programmers manual
EXCUSES1.ZIP Sysop's and programmer's excuses
EXPERT.ZIP Ten ways to spot a computer expert.
FAMOUS.ZIP Famous bugs
FI2100.ZIP How Client/Server Computing Is Like Teen-age Sex
FI2105.ZIP The computer expert's glossary
FI2106.ZIP Computer Glossary
FI2164.ZIP Joke (Gateway 2000)
FI2168.ZIP FSF announces GNU GNURM, the new, improved network worm!
FI2182.ZIP Hitch Hikers Guide To The Net
FI2188.ZIP How to get a hacker to bed (What to do when the chips are down)
FI2191.ZIP How to program and debug in "C"
FI222.ZIP Absolutely unchanged compiler responses
FI2226.ZIP Troutman's Laws of Computer Programming
FI2264.ZIP Signs of Computer Use in School Age Children
FI2303.ZIP Computer Language Breakthrough
FI231.ZIP Alternatives to OSI
FI2348.ZIP A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers
FI2365.ZIP Computer science sesame street
FI2401.ZIP Different ways of taking care of your disks
FI2408.ZIP A portrait of the TeX novice/user/hacker/...
FI2417.ZIP THE HACKER TEST - Version 1.0
FI2422.ZIP Return of the self-righteous net-fuckwit super-hero
FI2426.ZIP The pc manifesto featuring a pc primer and revised pc lexicon
FI244.ZIP Are you a Computer Geek? #3
FI245.ZIP Are you an internet nerd?
FI2451.ZIP PLTS Announces "netnews by fax"
FI2452.ZIP The usenet guide to power posting
FI247.ZIP Are you STILL a Computer GEEK?
FI2470.ZIP What is a Unix Guru?
FI2478.ZIP Reasons Why a Slide Rule (and Paper Pad) is Better Than an X Workstation
FI2483.ZIP Why beer is better than the net
FI2494.ZIP Why I like the IBM 3090
FI2500.ZIP Reasons why Usenet is like a penis:
FI26.ZIP Xerox Recalls 3D Copier
FOOD4WIN.ZIP Info on the new Microsoft Food program
FOOT.ZIP What language is afoot?
FUNNY.ZIP IBM joke
GAMEDEC.ZIP How DEC works
GENASYS.ZIP Gen-A-Sys: IBM Creation
GNU.ZIP FSF announces GNU GNURM, the new, improved network worm!
HACK_POM.ZIP A joke poem about data loss at the White House
HACKER2.ZIP The hacker test
HACKERS.ZIP Script for a hacker's tear
HACKSONG.ZIP The hacker's song
HACKTEST.ZIP Are you a hacker? The test!
HAL.ZIP Marketing the HAL9000 computer
HAL_WORD.ZIP Was "HAL" in 2001 named after wordplay on "IBM"?
HANDLE.ZIP How to choose an alias
HHGNET.ZIP Hitchhikers guide to the net
HOW_TO_G.ZIP How to get a hacker to bed
HOW_TO_P.ZIP How to program and debug in 'C'
HUMOR11.ZIP If Operating Systems were Airlines
HUMOR12.ZIP Windows95 Will Have the Coolest Users Ever
HUMOR13.ZIP Top 15 Things People Think the '95' in 'Windows95' Really Stands For
HUMOR41.ZIP Microsoft Buys 1995
HUMOR61.ZIP Bill Gates in Afterlife
HUMOR71.ZIP Microsoft Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
HUMOR81.ZIP Microsoft Renames Windows95
HUMOR91.ZIP The Usenet Oracle responds on Windows95
I_GET_NO.ZIP I get no cix out of you
IBM&GOD.ZIP IBM, God and the creation of the universe
IBM.ZIP Its still VAPORWARE!
IBMRULES.ZIP There is rules for driving computers, too
IBMSONG2.ZIP IBM song, march on with IBM
IEEE_D.ZIP IEEE definitions
INSTAL1.ZIP Windows 95 Installation Woes
INTERCAL.ZIP The intercal programming language ref. manual
JOE_LISP.ZIP The adventures of Joe Lisp
JOKES.ZIP Transputer Jokes
LA_BOITE.ZIP La Boite Bleue
LATEONEN.ZIP Fun story about Netware security
LAWNWATC.ZIP The LATEST in LAWN Management systems.
LAWS_OF_.ZIP Troutman's Laws of Computer Programming
LAWSUITS.ZIP Software lawsuits
LECHHATE.ZIP What leechers hate about A E sysops
LESSER.ZIP The lesser known programming languages, Simple
LIFECYCL.ZIP The Software life cycle
LOVEBYTE.ZIP Love Bytes, or sex and the single computer
LSD.ZIP Unix "man" page for LSD
MAKING_Y.ZIP How to Making your serviceman feel welcome
MANIFEST.ZIP The PC Manifesto
MANPAGE.ZIP Funny "man" pages
MASTER.ZIP The master programmer, a religious allegory
MEL.ZIP About Mel's life, computer phunn
MICRO.ZIP Micro, Offensive to computers and computers wannabes
MICRO1.ZIP Microsoft Jokes
MICRO2.ZIP More Microsoft Jokes
MISC_COM.ZIP Signs of Computer Use in School Age Children
MODEMPAI.ZIP Modem pail kids
MOLLY.ZIP The adventures of Molly modem
MOLLY1.ZIP The adventures of Molly Modem Pt.1
MOLLY2.ZIP The adventures of Molly Modem Pt.2
MOLLY3.ZIP The adventures of Molly Modem Pt.3
MOLLY4.ZIP The adventures of Molly Modem Pt.4
MOLLY5.ZIP The adventures of Molly Modem Pt.5
MOLLY6.ZIP The adventures of Molly Modem Pt.6
MOLLY7.ZIP The adventures of Molly Modem Pt.7
MOLLY8.ZIP The adventures of Molly Modem Pt.8
MSCARS1.ZIP If Microsoft Built Cars...
MURPH.ZIP Muprhy's computer laws
MURPHYS.ZIP Murphy's Law, as applied to Computing!
NEW_LA.ZIP New , little used, computer languages
NEW-CABL.ZIP New serial cables (joke)
NEWUSER.ZIP New users - How to detect and destroy them
NIGHT.ZIP The night of the hacker
NIGHTB4.ZIP Twas the night before installation
NO_YER.ZIP Know your unix system administrator, a field guide
NOEMAIL.ZIP 100+ excuses why i haven't answered my e-mail
NULL_PRO.ZIP Computer Language Breakthrough
ODD_TO.ZIP Odd to Obscurity
OPCODE.ZIP Apocryphal opcode mnemonic
OPCODES.ZIP Opcodes That Really Ought to Exist
OPCODES2.ZIP Newest DEC opcodes
OPERATOR.ZIP Operator's opcodes
ORACLE.ZIP The Usenet oracle is now available
ORACLE1.ZIP Why is Windows 95 Beta so bug-ridden it's not funny?
OS_TO.ZIP What driving to the store would be like if operating systems ran your car!
OSTEXT.ZIP Text file on Operating Systems - "If operating systems were airplanes".
PARANOID.ZIP Top list for paranoid computer scientist
PASCJOKE.ZIP Niklaus Wirth talks about computer jokes
PCHUMOR.ZIP Guide to computer languages
PENTHAHA.ZIP Jokes about the bug in Pentium.
PGMRSONG.ZIP The programmer
PHANTOMA.ZIP The Phantom of the Operator
PIZZAN.ZIP Att ladda upp till din sysop
POLYGLOT.ZIP Same code, many languages
POURNELL.ZIP Computing at Anarchy arces
POWRPOST.ZIP How to properly post
PRAYER.ZIP The programmers prayer
PROGRAM.ZIP Bored by Pascal? Odd Code.
PROGRAMM.ZIP The programmer's prayers
PUSSY_EA.ZIP Laser Printer Sucks up Cat
QUICHE.ZIP Real Programmers
REAL.ZIP Real programmers don't eat quiche
REAL_PR2.ZIP Real Programmers Don't Write Specs
REALENG.ZIP Real software engineers don't read dumps
REALMEL.ZIP Real programmers write in Fortran
REALMEN.ZIP Real programmers don't write Pascal
REALPAS.ZIP Real programmers don't use Pascal
REALPROG.ZIP About REAL programmers
REALSOFT.ZIP Real software engineers ...
REALUSER.ZIP Real BBS users
REGWIZ1.ZIP Inside the Windows 95 Registration Wizard
RELATIVE.ZIP Relativity vs. Ada Compiler
REMOVE1.ZIP Removing Windows 95 From Your PC
RLPRGPAS.ZIP Real Programmers Don't write Pascal.
RYFM.ZIP Read your fucking manual!
SATURDAY.ZIP What leeches do on Saturday nights
SEARS.ZIP Its official, VAX sucks
SECRETS.ZIP Users guide to little known facts about computers
SESAME_S.ZIP Computer science sesame streeT
SEXX.ZIP The .plan file of life
SFLVRS_H.ZIP A beautiful obsession from the binary world
SIGNATUR.ZIP Stupid .signatures
SIGS.ZIP Collection of E-Mail signatures
SILICON.ZIP The joke of Silicon Valley
SLINGS_A.ZIP Structured programmers soliloquy
SUN_ON_T.ZIP SUN News
SWWARS.ZIP Software Wars
SYSADMIN.ZIP Field Guide to System Administrators
SYSOPS.ZIP Real sysops don't eat quiche .
SYSTEM.ZIP Machine Room Operations
SYSTEM_G.ZIP Genesis (ver 2.5)
TAKING_C.ZIP Different ways of taking care of your disks
TECHNICA.ZIP What is Technical Harassment.
TENNE.ZIP Tenne C, A new version of C
TERMPOEM.ZIP Terminal Panic
TERMS.ZIP An unnecessary computer dictionary
TESTFORS.ZIP Test for system analysts
TEX.ZIP A portrait of the TeX novice/user/hacker/...
THE_DAY_.ZIP The day sunOS died
THE_HACK.ZIP The hacker test - Version 1.0
THE_MAIN.ZIP The Mainframe Environment From a Training Perspective
THECOMPU.ZIP The Complete computer nerd dictionary
THEPASCA.ZIP The Pascal programmer & the C programmer
THESOCIE.ZIP The society of leeches
TIMELINE.ZIP The computer timeline
TO_MY_DA.ZIP To my darling husband
TOLKIEN.ZIP Tolkien Ring Network
TOLKIEN_.ZIP The tolkien ring network
TONKINSC.ZIP Tonkin's first computer dictionary
ULTIMATE.ZIP Ultimate Digital SPR Report
UNIVERSA.ZIP Universal VAX 8900
UNIX.ZIP FUN with UNIX
UNIX2.ZIP Unix is a Program Gone Bad
UNIXCJKE.ZIP Creators admit unix, c hoax
UNIXHOAX.ZIP Unix was a Hoax?
UNIXJOKE.ZIP A little unix humor :-d
UNIXKILL.ZIP New Unix command
UNIXLOVE.ZIP Why i love UNIX
UNIXTREK.ZIP Unix star trek parody
UNIXVARI.ZIP Unix -- variations on a theme
UNIXWARS.ZIP Science fiction story about Unix wars
USENET.ZIP Usenet Olympics
USENET_B.ZIP PLTS Announces "netnews by fax"
USENET_G.ZIP The USENET Guide to Power Posting
USSRMODM.ZIP An article from Pravda about modeming
UZI_COMP.ZIP The Uzi Vs. The Computer
VALGOL.ZIP The new programming language VALGOL
VANGOJOK.ZIP Computer/Painter joke
WARGAMES.ZIP Is wargames possible?
VAXEN.ZIP VAXen, my children, just don't belong some places
VAXENDON.ZIP VAX computer story
VAXTREK.ZIP Vax Trek V the movie, The Cruncy bits
WEIRDPRO.ZIP Are you bored with Pascal?
WHAT_IS_.ZIP What is a Unix Guru?
WHY_I_LI.ZIP Why I like the IBM 3090
WHY_TEXT.ZIP Why textfiles
VI_ADDIC.ZIP Addicted to VI, a funny Unix song
WIN95.ZIP Top 10 things people think the '95' in 'windows 95' really stands for:
WIN95-1.ZIP Subliminal Messages in Windows 95?
WINDEX1.ZIP Microsoap Introduces Windex '95
WINDOW1.ZIP Is it Windows 95 or 85? Teasing reality from the hype
WINDOWS.ZIP The world of windows
WINJOKES.ZIP Jokes on Windows
VIRTUAL.ZIP How virtual memory really works?
VIRUWORM.ZIP Viruwormdy song
WW95S1.ZIP Why Windows 95 Sucks
XDOS7.ZIP The new christian religion: Xdos 7.0
XMAS.ZIP Electronic C Christmas Card
XMAS_TWE.ZIP The Twelve computerized days of christmas
XTND8088.ZIP Extended opcode set for Intel 8088/8086
ZANY232.ZIP A new RS-232 standard
ZENDOCUM.ZIP Zen and the art of computer documentation
ZZZMODEM.ZIP New transfer protocol: ZZZMODEM!